Thursday, June 30, 2005

Come fly with me

In a few hours I'll be in my '96 Jetta, heading down to Sackville with my sister so that I can catch a bus to Halifax.

Tomorrow morning I'll be boarding a plane for only the third time in my life, to head to the BIG SMOKE, as my boss so affectionately refers to it as.

It should be a fantastic weekend, complete with sun, swimming, shopping, meeting family, going to plays, Canada's Wonderland, etc. What an exciting Canada Day weekend!

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

My world is a flood - Slowly I become one with the mud

The morning started out bleak and foggy. It was cold and you could barely see in front of you. Come this afternoon though, the sky cleared, and the sun came out. It was beautiful and nice to see for a change in Saint John. I was driving home from town today, and all of a sudden, the sky clouded over and and completely opened up. Down poured the rain. Fast and loud and a huge quantity of rain. It was beautiful. Romantic. I wanted to be in it and getting drenched with the overpowering cooling sensation of vulnerability. I stepped out of my car and heard the powering sound of thunder overhead.

The rain offers such a cleansing of my emotions. I feel like I can get them right out in the open. The feeling of inadaquacy can finally escape through the droplets of rain dripping off my hair and my face and my clothes. I can't escape from the thoughts running through my head, questioning who I am.

Who is this girl that you see
And why can't I see her?
Am I worthy of success? am I worthy of love?
There are so many comparissons,
So many things I am not.
The rain falls
it soaks me so that
I become translucent.
I step into the city,
a nameless face in a faceless crowd.
What part is me
Can you accept that?
What part do you leave behind,
Do you wish for me to be?

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Ninja Turtle

On my way home from driving my sister to work this morning, I had my arm hanging out of the window, feeling the warm breeze against my face, my hair blowing in the wind behind me, luckily not in front of my face. My sister was sitting in the middle part of the van, we were both singing to mixed CD I had in the player perfect for a warm summer day like today.

Being the safe driver that I am, I was concentrating hard on the road around me and saw something round and dark sitting on the highway. This is not an odd thing as many times you'll see pieces of tire or debris on the road, so I did not pay much attention to it. All of a sudden, the object began to move. Then I saw it - it was a turtle. Thoughts started going through my head, just as I am sure that poor turtle had many thoughts running through his head - I am sure he was seeing his whole life flash before his eyes.

I started wondering how long the turtle had been trying to cross the highway, it was moving at a terribly ssssllllooooowwww pace. Where was it going, and does it cross that highway often? Then I started wondering what turtle would sound like underneath the wheels of a 2000 Windstar. That was the thought that convinced me that I did not WANT to find out.

Just in time, I swerved out into the other lane of traffic. Fortunately, there were no cars close by me. I looked in my rear-view mirror, and could still see that blob of a turtle on the highway. I saw the red car behind me just miss it. The car behind him though, I couldn't say.

I hope that the fearless turtle made it to the otherside. If not, rest in peace dear turtle. I am glad it was not I who was the author of your demise.

My my my It's a beautiful world

It is incredible how the thought of you
Can bring me to tears
Or force me to beam
This is a complete elation
A faultless bliss
Your laughter is addicting
Your drug far more potent
I could watch this beginning over and over
In anticipation of our next creation
Reminicing the last
And overwhelmed by the reality
A divine chance sweeter than chocolate
Purer than water
Beheld by us.
And the world becomes so beautiful