The Number 1 Reason why I am Glad I will not be in Rez next year

Back in April, a rival house played a nasty April Fools joke on my beloved Windsor. The house was crawling with crickets until we left after exams.

As the summer began, and I went back home, it was still a constant battle between me and crickets, until I thought that I had become successful in freeing my life from crickets at least.

Ant I could handle. Our house has an outbreak of ants every summer it seems, and although an abundance of ants seems utterly disgusting every time a cupboard door is opened, it is rather manageable.

But not the crickets. I was horribly mistaken when I had thought I could overcome the tiny vermin. Instead, I must have overlooked a few, who through Darwin's survival of the fittest managed to form some super colony of a new giant cricket species.

I found one prowling through my bedroom last night, its thick exoskeleton like combat gear. It was no match for my shoe and vacuum however, although it left a wicked stain where it was evident battle had taken place.

Although disgusting, I can deal with one. One cricket means that it could be a fluke. This understanding makes it much easier to sleep at night, however it was a false hope. As I woke up this morning, and rubbed my sleepy eyes out of its slumber, I saw another cricket, just as large and ugly as the first, staring up at me on the bathroom floor. I was NOT going to squish it with toilet paper. No, it was stronger than that. Somehow my mother was awake at 5:45 am and joined me, and the cricket lost its wreched life.

Every morning I listen to CBC radio one. I have been doing this since I was in elementary school. There has only been two exceptions to this rule; one was a time in early high school when I began listening to K94.5 - Moncton's Newest Music, and the second time was this past year at university because I shared a room, and normally woke up earlier than my roommate. On these summer Saint John mornings, as I wake up at 5:30 am, the trend is no different. I listen to the radio as I wake, I listen to it in the shower and while brushing my teeth, and I listen in the kitchen while making my lunch and eating my breakfast. This morning, I had somethingorotherCrunch in my bowl, and true to its name, it was making loud CRUNCH noises in my head. I got up to go turn the radio up, but instead directed my attention to the long slender thing on the wall behind it.

I was used to ants in the kitchen. I can grab a paper towel (or run upstairs to get some toilet paper) and manage to kill them. I do not even mind using my finger to kill a menacing ant. But a centipede! Bugs with exoskeletons really gross me out. They are much harder to smoosh, and make a distinctly disgusting cracking sound as they meet their end. There was no way I was letting this centipede run lose in my house, however. I looked over at the Paper Towel rack. Nothing. We have just returned from a camping trip, making it likely that the towel is still in the trailer. Instead, I bolted out the kitchen, up the stairs, rolled as much paper towel off the bathroom wall as possible in the shortest amount of time, and balled it up as I was running down the stairs. The centipede took about a minute to kill, all the while I was pushing this white gob of paper against the wall, praying that there was enough padding between me and the bug that I did not have to hear, or worst of all feel its demise.

I never claimed to be a fan of creepy crawlers.